I
am more aware of gender inequality now, and not in the way that most would
think. I still acknowledge that
statistically, women are more often victims than men. Many people don't believe
how many people are personally victims or try to make it out like the crime
didn't occur because they were friends, or dating. But most people still
believe it isn't physically possible for a woman to rape a man and that's not
true.
It
makes me especially careful with my boyfriend, who was sexually abused. I am
now very conscious of sexual acts and anything that would fall under the category
of seduction because I don't want to hurt, or manipulate him, or anyone else. I
am very conscious of sexually charged words, and hurt more so than in the past
when people make 'rape jokes' or use the word callously.
Anyone
who can't give consent can be the victim of [sexual violence]. Men can be perpetrators, but so
can women. Be a friend to victims, regardless of their gender- it's
dehumanizing to have a crime perpetrated against you, and it's worse when no
one believes it's physically possible. Women can be rapists too.
Socially, I'm a bit of a wreck in the sexual regard when it comes to relating
to my boyfriend,(and we're abstaining, I can't imagine the transition to us
actually having sex). We speak openly about it, but I still second guess what
does and doesn't make him comfortable, even when he says yes. It's a big mind
game.
Academically, if I ever think that I've hurt my boyfriend, I can't focus on my work. I'm going to mental health now to talk about it because it's affecting both my job and my studies.
Academically, if I ever think that I've hurt my boyfriend, I can't focus on my work. I'm going to mental health now to talk about it because it's affecting both my job and my studies.
[Note
from the editor: This is one of the many anonymous anecdotes and survey
responses collected for the dx/dt project that were not used in the film. They
are being posted here as contributions to the discussion of sexual violence,
relationship abuse, and stalking in the MIT community. Thank you to all of the
authors of these posts for your willingness to speak out.]